There are few groups of people as tantalised as teenage girls. The way they move, act and talk, as well as their interests and looks, are continuously looked down upon. They are the polar opposite of the adult man; of the people in power. In a society that values authority, hierarchy, and where success is often measured by what step on the ladder you belong to, earning others’ respect becomes the ultimate goal. No one is looking towards teenagers to find out how.
As a woman, I have worked hard my whole life to be taken seriously. To make myself heard. But, as many times as I have been listened to, I have been disregarded without a thought.
I have listened to men answer every question asked. I have seen them repeat what the woman before them just mentioned. I have heard jokes retold. I have, continuously, watched as the world praises men for the same words women utter without accolades. Walking through life, the language of women simply does not seem to be the same as the one used by men. It is not heard, it is not listened to, and it is often discarded as simply ranting. But what is the reason for these differences? What makes men’s language powerful, and women’s not? And why does men’s language continuously remain the superior one, even as it changes throughout the centuries?
There are a few speech patterns widely used among both women and men, including phenomena such as the vocal fry (creaky voice), and the uptalk (ending your sentences on a higher note). This way of speaking is, however, usually only accepted among men. When women use these linguistic devices, they’re seen as incompetent, unsure, and less educated. Using vocal fry in job interviews as a woman even lessens your chance of getting the job. When men use them, none of that same effect is seen. On paper, the language is identical. But it is not heard in the same way. The same traits, identical use, are only accepted in some and not others.
There are, of course, also many ways of speaking that are clearly gendered. Men sound more sure, they present ideas as facts, and they rarely ask questions (in comparison to women). These differences are crucial to determine what amount of authority and respect is attributed to a person. It is the gap between women’s and men’s use of language that signals a difference in competence. Men’s language is, and stays, the dominant one. It is the sought after way of speaking, and the speech pattern that makes the world listen. The gap is never stagnant; linguistic change is constant both among men and women, but its influence stays the same. Its existence always turns to the women’s disadvantage.
But what drives linguistic change? And why does it seem to affect women and men differently?
Although the public conversation is in big parts held by men, conversations at home are not. Fathers speak less to their children, and men make up a smaller part of people working in childcare. Thus, their children grow up to speak like their mothers do, not like them. The next generation uses the language of the women, the caregivers, around them. Women drive linguistic change.
No matter how much society hails the powerful men’s language as the superior one: factual, respectable, clever – in reality it is already outdated. The future people of power won’t use the same words or make up the same kind of sentences. The future people of power will speak in the way women currently are.
William Labov, one of many researchers specialising in language development and differences between men’s and women’s language use, has found that women drive upwards of 90% of linguistic change. Not only are women important for language use because of their roles as mothers, but young women also lead linguistic innovation. They tend to be more empathetic, social, and aware of how they are being perceived, as well as often having bigger social networks with greater diversity and social and language exchange. The awareness of others and emotional skill is important for their use of language. Additionally, much of their language use comes from innovation, and not only accidental changes or trends. Carmen Fought, a professor of linguistics at Pitzer College, says: “The truth is this: Young women take linguistic features and use them as power tools for building relationships.”
Together with others, women form new ways of speaking. And, as they become mothers, these changes are transferred to their children.
The Western liberal society, where the individual male is placed in the centre of development, is, it turns out, formed by the female collective. As women are shut out of decision making and teenage girls are continually told off, as the world once again positions the man above everybody else, women have already shaken the world at its core. The individualistic promotion of power and oneself demotes social contexts without clarified goal-objectives to second place. But, in human connection, led by women through centuries, the foundation is created on which society is later formed.
As teenage girls are being frowned upon, scolded for misbehaving or not talking properly, they are actively developing new ways of speaking. Together with friends, they are creating and producing communication systems, both subtle and complex, that they will carry with them as they grow older. As they birth sons and daughters, they pass on social signals, words, and ways of behaving. They lead social change through changing the core of social contexts: The language. Their sons grow up, aware of the language instilled in them by their mothers. As they utter their mother’s words in global contexts, they are granted both respect and authority – a generation after the skill was invented. At the same time, their female counterparts have already begun creating their own. The inventors will not be recognised, and not respected. But no matter what forces are believed to be used against them, the oppressor is being socialised into a way of acting that is, in its entirety, female.
