I’m not usually one for books about self-developing, and maybe, just maybe, because of that attitude, someone thought I might need and gave me this book called “Jag kan ha fel” by Björn “Natthiko” Lindeblad. Nevertheless I thought the least I could do was read it and so I did. The fact that Lindeblad lived as a monk for 17 years, but before that worked as an economist, did raise my interest. Who knows where our studies will take us, right? He changed his path and in this book he brings up some thoughts and wisdoms, if you may, that he gained while living as a monk and now I would like to share a pair of them with you.
First time hearing about The Owl-person it made me realize that this is exactly what I don’t want to be, but absolutely precisely who I am. And others are too. Thankfully not always, but in some situations. Before reflecting on this subject I think a very common perception of an Owl-person would be that it’s someone smart and well-informed, which all sounds nice, but after reading this book I’m not so sure anymore. I love the statement that Lindeblad brings up to illustrate. It’s taken from Winnie the Pooh, a
scene where Pooh and Piglet are on a walk and walk past the Owl’s nest and it goes something like this…
“The Owl has so much knowledge” Piglet says.
Pooh doesn’t answer and they keep going. A moment later Pooh turns to Piglet and says
“Well… maybe that’s why he never understands anything.”
The Owl is someone who often has pre-decided thoughts about things. It’s like the owl has its own world and is convinced that its way of seeing things is the right and only way. Characteristically the owl is very sure about its ideas, however, that becomes quite limiting and I can see how it affects the ability to understand other perspectives. I guess you could liken it to a quite self-absorbed know-it-all person. Not that nice any more, huh?
Where Lindeblad really got me was when he explained how it can be having a conversation with an owl. Picture yourself having a conversation with someone. You start to share some thoughts you have on a subject. However the owl naturally already has its pre-decided thought on the matter and so you can notice that the person isn’t really listening or reflecting on what you’re saying. Instead the owl is gathering its thoughts and preparing for you to finish talking so they can sweep in with their opinion.
When I read that, I got hit. I’ve been on both sides in that conversation and I’m sure most of you can relate in some way. I reckon it easier to behave like the owl when the subject is of your deepest interest and you possess a lot of knowledge about it, but there are always more things to learn. However you won’t learn anything if you’re ignorant and not open to new points of view. Not to mention how obscenely rude it is and what a conversation killer that behavior is.
The good news is that we have the power to change if we would like to. To be a bit more open minded I think is healthy for everyone. Also more interesting, in the end you will get to know so much more than you would as an ignorant owl. This brings me onto the next thing I’ll take with me from this book – live with a more open hand!
Lindeblad that means for example if you loosen your grip around thoughts on how things should work out and stop being locked into certain expectations it’s going to be a lot easier to match them. You can’t get as disappointed. He also points out the importance of leaving room for miracles. There is no room if everything is always strictly planned. Furthermore, by having some trust and an open hand, even stress can be avoided. With that being said I would like to point out that I don’t believe it means that you shouldn’t have goals or dreams, but when it comes to smaller things, try to lose some grip and let what happens happen.
So, to summarize, don’t be an owl. Be more open-minded as that will result in more giving and polite conversations. It will also create room for miracles and less risk of ending up disappointed.
