It’s Monday morning and I wake up with a somewhat heavy feeling in my body. Something feels wrong, but I can’t put my finger on it. After a lot of ifs and buts, my body begins to wake up and I eventually approach my wardrobe. The clothes hanging there are perfectly ironed and coordinated in different colors, waiting to be worn. But none of the clothes feels like me today. So many clothes, but still nothing to wear.
A lot of the pieces still have the price tag on. I thought, maybe one day that blouse that was a little too tight over the chest will fit. But it still doesn’t, instead, it’s just hanging in there reminding me of another unnecessary purchase. Unfortunately, it is not the only garment with a price tag on. Talk about acting sustainably…
We repair and recycle our clothes. We recycle plastic, cardboard and metal. And we shop climate-smart by choosing food that is locally grown and cut down on our meat intake. But do we do the same in our relationships? Staying in a relationship that we don’t feel good about is like buying clothes that are a little too small. We believe that the situation will change and therefore we choose to keep both the garment and the relationship in question. But what happens if we instead choose to act sustainably with our partner, the one we are dating or our friends?
The first step towards a more sustainable life is to sort and clean out the aspects that make your life miserable. Partly the clothes that never come to use or don’t fit the way you’d like it to, but also the relationships that don’t feel entirely right. Why should we torture ourselves more than necessary? We don’t deserve to sit at a restaurant in an outfit that prevents us from choosing that creamy pasta on the menu. We don’t deserve to come home from a coffee with a friend and feel drained of energy. And we also don’t deserve to cry ourselves to sleep over the person we are dating because he or she made us feel insecure about who we are or how we should be for them to like us. And let’s be honest, if a garment or a relationship doesn’t satisfy us right now, it will probably not satisfy us later either.
Our relationships can, like our clothes, be categorized into different piles. One pile for keeping, one that we are uncertain about, and finally, one that we no longer have any use for. The latest pile is perhaps the most difficult one for all of us. It is difficult to get rid of people we value. However, it is important to consider if a certain relationship is actually mutual and if there is a proper balance in what we put in, and what we receive back. The pile of uncertainty is also tricky. Like clothing, it can be good to have in some cases. Maybe it will change? Maybe you will change?
Despite the difficulties related to the two piles, deep down we know that they should be sorted out and discarded. None of the relationships would have ended up there if it weren’t for the fact that something about it makes us doubt it.
So, what do we do when we have decided which clothes and relationships that it’s time to get rid of? It is now the most powerful and beautiful begins. The clothes and relationships that have been allowed to survive in the cleansing are the ones that are the most long-lasting and well-tailored to last a lifetime. Relationships are just like flowers. We must water our flowers so that they have the opportunity to grow and bloom. Eventually, we will have a garden filled with flowers in beautiful colors that give us joy, energy, and courage. Just like the relationships we choose to maintain.
None of the relationships in our lives should weigh us down, instead, they should help us grow and make us flourish – just like the flowers we treat with love daily. Therefore, we must avoid unnecessary and spontaneous purchases that give us short-term happiness instead of long-term. Short-term happiness is wonderful in the beginning, it gives us an intoxication and we find ourselves in a kind of ecstasy where we experience our life as perfect. But the important thing to remember is that short-term happiness never lasts forever. In the same way that we remove weed, we must remove our toxic relationships.
It is the relationships that in the long run give us happiness and faithfulness that is worth nourishing. Those who always stand by your side, even on a Saturday night when you’re out of tears. It is the friendships that don’t require contact every day but are always there for us when we need them the most. And if you think about it, that’s precisely why you have chosen to keep them in your life.
No matter how hard it may be to say goodbye to relationships that don’t give us what we demand or need, we must remember that it is for the best. If there is one thing I’ve learned this year, it is that I deserve to be happy and not lie in bed crying every night. I will manage this time well and water the relationships that make me flourish. I deserve the very best and nothing less. And so do you!
It’s Monday morning and I wake up feeling calm and rested. There is no longer anything that weighs me down. I hurry to my wardrobe and scan the clothes, which are perfectly ironed and coordinated in different colors. Suddenly I have so many clothes and I want to wear them all!